Working Out The Kinks
by LittleLizzieZentara
Summary: This is a writing experiment. Using some of my favorite scenes from the show, I am working on improving visual descriptions in my writing. A scene from Boom! - His eyes desperately searched for her slender frame but there was no sign that anyone remained within the raging inferno.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a writing experiment I was originally only going to share with Natalie Elizabeth and beatingoutasamba. One of the main reasons I post stories on this site is to improve my writing (and share my stories with all of you, of course). But with each story it became glaringly obvious-to me, anyway-that I was seriously lacking in giving physical descriptions of things. Writing classes seem to usually give boring (no offense to any writing teachers out there) exercises like describe your bedroom or your backyard. So I came up with the idea of writing scenes from the show. I watch episodes over and over again anyway, so why not use that? And then I asked beatingoutasamba if she was willing to edit the scenes. She is going to school to be a screenwriter and who better to ask for help with that type of thing? Already she has given me invaluable input. I also share the scenes with Natalie because she is, as I call her, one of my best Castle friends-and becoming one of my best friends in general-and we love reading each other's work. I e-mailed this scene to her last night and she suggested I post these so they can be shared with the fandom. Which surprised me (but only a little, because we seem to be as in sinc as Caskett a lot of the time) because I had just been thinking the same thing, wondering if any of you would be interested in reading these. **

**Disclaimer: I own next to nothing of these and certinaly nothing of Castle (other than DVDs and the first two Heat novels). I'm trying to keep it as close to the scene as possible, although as Natalie has pointed out, I am still giving my own interpretation of their thoughts and feelings.**

* * *

_Who would be knocking at this time of night?_ Castle wondered.

Alexis was at an after graduation party and his mother was in the Hamptons. The manners his mother had drilled into him prompted him to open the door, even though he wasn't in the mood for company. Deciding he would make some excuse and get rid of the person on the other side of the door, Castle schooled his features into a polite mask and turned the handle.

His features hardened in barely suppressed anger when he realized exactly who stood in his doorway.

Beckett.

She was lucky he didn't just slam the door in her face. He was sure she was there because she wanted his help with her mother's case. He wouldn't let himself be dragged back down that road. But this was Beckett; as much as it pained him, he couldn't bring himself to just push her away.

"Beckett, what do you want?" Castle made his tone as cold and unwelcoming as he could. He may not be able to push her away, but he wasn't going to pretend to be happy about her barging back into his life mere hours after he'd walked away.

"You," she replied softly.

Beckett's stride was determined as she made her way towards him. Castle took a small step back but she kept coming. She reached for him, her hands landing just above his shoulders, cupping his neck in firm yet gentle grip. He barely had time to register the feeling of her fingers on his bare skin when her lips captured his. He was torn between pulling her closer and pushing her away. His hands remained just above her shoulders, the little movements they made little more than reflexes as his heart struggled with his mind.

Her lips left his before he had completely decided. Hands briefly swept over his shoulders before she rested them once again along the side of his neck. A thumb softly caressed his cheek as she rested her forehead against his.

Castle didn't dare lift his gaze to hers. Having her this close was bad enough. Looking into her beautiful green eyes would break him.

"I'm so sorry, Castle," Beckett whispered, her hands drifting once again to his shoulders. "I'm so sorry." She sounded near tears as she said it. That couldn't be right. But the sound was even clearer when the words left her lips a third time. "I'm so sorry."

Once again she leaned in, her lips touching his for a brief moment before he forced her back, a slight reluctance in the movement that hadn't been present the first time.

Something had changed. Kate Beckett didn't act like this. She didn't kiss him, she didn't apologize. Before he could allow himself to hope that her actions meant what they implied, he needed the whole story, the chain of events that would make everything make sense.

"What happened?" he asked, allowing himself to finally meet her gaze.

"He got away, and I didn't care." There was a soft smile on her lips that added credence to what she said. "I almost died, and all I could think about was you." Her gaze lowered to his lips. "I just want you." She leaned towards him, her lips parted in anticipation of another kiss.

But Castle didn't move. He needed a few moments to wrap his mind around what she was telling him. He could tell she meant every word. It was just so much to take in.

Her fingers lightly caressing his lips caused whatever self-control he had left to shatter. Suddenly it was him rushing forward, his momentum pushing her back towards the door, which closed as he pressed her body against it. Their hungry mouths met, eager lips holding nothing back. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss but there was so much more of her he wanted to explore. He trailed moist kisses down the side of her neck, his heart thrilling at the way she eagerly clung to him, her fingers digging into his back almost to the point of pain.

Their lips met again, neither able to get close enough, deep enough to satisfy a longing four years in the making. Her hands caressed his back with soft, eager movements, like she wanted to touch everywhere at once. He could relate. The frantic need clawed at him as his lips made their way down to the valley between her breasts. His lips burned as if the shirt she wore wasn't even there. It was when he kissed the area directly over her scar that the passion melded with a deep tenderness. He had come so close to losing her.

A need to see the scar, visual proof that she had fought death and won, shook him with its intensity. But his hands were remarkably steady as he unfastened the buttons the hid her secrets from his longing gaze.

Finally there it was, a round indention in her skin that puckered sharply around the edges, barely larger than the bullet that had ripped through her chest. His eyes once again met hers, the question in the blue orbs obvious. Her hand was there to meet his, giving him silent permission as she wrapped her fingers around his hand and pressed it against the proof of her survival.

At the same time her lips claimed his. This kiss matched the tenderness of their hands held so close to her heart. She lifted her hand from his to lightly brush his jaw with her fingertips.

He could feel her fighting a smile as their lips met in a series of light, brief kisses. Not even a full second passed after they put the slightest space between them before a full-fledged smile shone through, not just on her lips, but in her eyes. She may have yet to say the words, but love radiated from her gaze.

With a mixture of shyness and confidence that only Kate Beckett could pull off, she slid her hand down his arm and grasped his hand firmly in hers. Biting her bottom lip in a way that never failed to drive him crazy with desire, Beckett took the lead, gently tugging him forward. There was no way he was going to complain about her going first this time. Because this time she was taking the first step into their future. Together.

* * *

**So what do you guys think? Should I post more or just keep these between myself and beatingoutasamba and Natalie Elizabeth until this area of my writing improves? Really, I want to know. Constructive criticism is welcome and even flaming reveiws will be taken into consideration. And of course if you like it I REALLY want to know that. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Cops & Robbers Bank Scene**

_**Getting To Castle**_

It took everything Kate had to keep from pushing her way through the members of the bomb squad that entered the bank ahead of her. Dust hung heavy in the air and debris littered the cement floor. Her voice was raspy and soft the first time she called out for Castle but gained clarity and volume each time she repeated his name. A mix of fear and desperation rang from her voice when he didn't answer. Holding her gun at the ready, Kate moved briskly through what used to be the bank's lobby, the flashlight in her other hand lighting the way.

"Beckett?"

Relief flooded her at the strength in Castle's voice. He didn't sound injured, just urgent and maybe a little bit shocked that she was there. But why would he be shocked? Where else would she be when her partner needed her?

Following the direction of his voice Kate turned and made her way quickly to the barred room. There were a couple dozen people in the room, all of them sitting with their hands bound by handcuffs, but she only saw Castle. He was a little disheveled but fine. At his tentative wave, Kate barely took enough time to rasp out, "They're here," to the bomb squad before opening the outer door.

"I told you," Castle said to the other hostages as Kate hurried to the barred door. A happy chuckle escaped him as she opened the door and made her way over to him.

Martha's relieved, "My god" barely registered as Kate made her way to Castle, sinking to her knees in front of him. Kate knew the love she had for him radiated in her eyes, but she didn't care. She didn't even try to hold back her smile as she reached for the heavy-duty plyers to break the metal that bound his hands.

"Here we go, ready?" she said softly. At his nod she clamped down the plyers. A soft clicking sounded as it cut through the metal. Kate couldn't keep herself from reaching out and touching the lapel of Castle's jacket. It was all she allowed herself, a small gesture compared to the way she wanted to take him in her arms and never let him go.

The intent look in Castle's blue eyes told Kate that the writer had probably picked up on the emotions coursing through her.

"He's not the only one here, you know," Martha said.

Kate caught the annoyed look in Castle's eyes before she looked over to Martha. Breaking eye contact with Castle reminded her of how right Martha was. There had to be over a dozen hostages in the small space. Even with that it was hard to pull her attention away from Castle.

The smile faded as embarrassment filled her. "I'm so-" Kate looked over at Martha who held up her bound wrists. She looked back over to Castle, a wry smile on her lips. Even with Martha's prompting, she didn't want to leave the writer's side. "I'm so sorry, Martha," Kate said and moved over to her partner's mother, quickly freeing the red-haired diva.

As much as she just wanted to bask in her relief that Castle was alive and uninjured, she had a job to do. Giving in to her feelings for Castle would come later. Much later.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own very little of this and nothing of Castle (other than a calander and a couple books and DVDS).**

**The Limey**

_**Girl Talk**_

The splash of the red wine Kate poured was almost as loud as the detective's voice as she spoke. "I'm telling you, something happened," she insisted. "Something changed. " It's been weird between us lately," she went on, looking from the wine she was pouring to Lanie and back again.

"Lately?" Lanie said in a dry tone. "Kate, it's been weird for four years."

"No, it's like he's pulling away," she said, setting down the glass.

"Well, can you blame him?" Lanie asked. "He's probably tired of waiting," she theorized and took a sip of her wine.

"Waiting for what?" Kate tried to keep up her usual façade, but when she spoke the last word her eyes betrayed her. Lanie could clearly see the need for reassurance emanating from her friend's gaze.

"What do you think?" Lanie couldn't believe Kate needed her to spell it out for her. But if that's what she needed, that's exactly what the M.E. was prepared to do. "The guy is crazy about you." She wasn't surprised when Kate lowered her gaze again. But her friend's obvious discomfort with such directness wasn't going to stop Lanie. Not this time. "And despite your little act, you're crazy about him."

Lanie was a little annoyed when Kate reacted to her statement with a look of skepticism. After her clear worry over the changes in Castle, did she really think Lanie didn't know?

"Oh, what? Was that supposed to be some big secret?" Lanie's tone clearly told Kate what she thought of _that_ idea.

As if putting some physical space between herself and Lanie would give her some distance between herself and her emotions, Kate stepped back from the counter.

Kate's first reaction to the question was an emphatic, "Yes" as she slowly walked over to the nearest barstool. But she couldn't keep up the charade under Lanie's pointed look. "No," she admitted a moment later. She plopped down onto the stool as a new thought hit her. "Do you think he knows?" she asked her friend worriedly.

Lanie couldn't help but feel compassionate for her conflicted friend. When it came to crime scenes Kate noticed every detail. When it came to relationships, the detective was often completely oblivious.

"You remember how he used to be? Girl on either arm? You really don't see that guy much anymore. Why do you think that is?"

Kate knew what Lanie was getting at. She wasn't stupid. Although she had asked him to wait all those months ago, even if the conversation had been riddled with subtext, she'd still wrestled with doubts. Kate swallowed down the lump of emotion that tried to surface at the implications. Because the last woman she had seen him out with had been Serena, and that had been at Kate's own insistence for a case. Before that had been Gina. Over a year ago.

Had he been waiting, even then?

"He's waiting for _you_," Lanie answered her own question, pointing at the other woman as she said the last word.

Kate couldn't deny the truth of Lanie's words as the dark woman gave her a prompting look.

But it wasn't as simple as Lanie seemed to think it was.

"Yeah, but Lanie-"she started.

"I know, you're dealing with stuff," Lanie interrupted, having heard it all before. "But you cannot ask him to wait forever. Unless of course you're okay with him pulling away."

Of course she wasn't okay with it!

"What if it doesn't work?" Kate voiced her greatest fear. "What if it ends up like you and Javi?"

Lanie didn't think that would be a problem. Not for these two. But even if it didn't work out between them-

"Well, at least we gave it a shot," she said after a moment's thought. "And so it didn't work out. So what? Now we can move on. Give or take the occasional booty call," she said with a self-satisfied smirk.

Kate smiled at that. Somehow the M.E. and Hispanic detective had been able to part amicably.

But Kate knew she couldn't be that blasé about things if she started a relationship with Castle and things didn't work out. She would be crushed. An occasional 'booty call' would be out of the question.

"I just, I don't want to lose what we have, you know?" Kate said, her tone soft but serious.

"Girl, please," Lanie wasn't buying it. "What exactly do you have, really?"

Kate wasn't entirely certain how to sum up what she had with Castle. He was her partner, her best friend, the man who made her job fun. But he was so much more than that. He was the man, to use Lanie's term, that she was crazy about. Her feelings for the man were stronger than they'd ever been with anyone else, even Mike Royce.

Lately, though-

Right now, what did they have?

"A friendship?" Kate couldn't help the uncertainty in her tone. Not just because she wasn't sure if that response would be good enough for Lanie, but also because a part of her wondered if she still had even that much with Castle.

"No," Lanie replied, blunt and to the point. "What you and I have," she gestured in the space between them, "is a friendship. What you and Castle have is a holding pattern. How long can you circle," with her hands she imitated a circling plane, "before the fuel runs out?"

The ring of Kate's phone saved Kate from having to reply.

"Beckett," she greeted the person on the other end of the line. But her usual brisk tone was replaced by a sad, thoughtful one.

"Don't think you were saved by the bell, Kate Beckett," Lanie said as the two women walked up to the crime scene a short time later. "As you're friend, I'm not going to let this drop."

"So, what?" Kate and Lanie both ducked under the yellow tape that one of the uniforms lifted over their heads. "You think I should tell him how I feel?"

If it had been anyone other than Kate, Lanie would have been exasperated by the question. In this case, she only felt relief that her friend was seriously considering what she should have done a long time ago.

"Yes!" she cried. Knowing how big of a step this was for her friend, she added, "You hunt murderers for a living. You can do this."

"Okay," Kate's voice was slightly breathless as she said the word, her nervousness a palatable thing. "Okay," the second time the word was uttered some of the nervousness had dissipated, determination taking its place. "I just, I have to find the right time."

Lanie wasn't going to let her get away with that. "No time like the present," she said, knowing that Castle would show up at the crime scene any minute now.

The screech of tires and low purr of a sports car engine drew their attention away from the conversation. They both turned their heads to see Castle. In his red Ferrari. With a beautiful blonde woman sitting next to him in the passenger seat.

"What the-?" Lanie gasped.

Kate didn't say a word, but her shock, tinged with disgust, was clear on her face while she watched as Castle's mysterious companion opened the car door and stepped out of the fancy vehicle.

She looked back over at Lanie, her eyes clearly asking, _Do you really think _now _is a good time? _

Lanie did _not _want to be around to see this. "On second thought, maybe you should wait a bit," she amended. "What's that?" She turned but still kept her gaze in Kate's direction. Her discomfort radiated from her dark eyes. "I think I hear Ryan calling," she said lamely. "I gotta go," she said and made a beeline for the other detective.

Kate didn't bother to call on her ridiculous excuse.

She didn't want to be around Castle right now, either.


	4. Chapter 4

**Oops, I just noticed I didn't change the summary for the current scene last time. Sorry about that. This is the last of the stuff I have already written, so the updates will be sporatic from now on. But I will be taking the suggestions from the previous reviews into consideration as I write new scenes, so hopefully there will be steady improvement with each new scene.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned this show, I wouldn't have freaked out over the first promo for 5X01 like I did. Instead, I would have known it all from writing through to the completed project. So yeah, I don't own it. But that means I get to write fan fics about it, so there's a silver lining in having to wait until SEPTEMBER 24th (20 weeks between new episodes is INSANE!) to see the whole thing.**

* * *

**Boom!**

_**Rescue From A Burning Apartment**_

The crackle of the fire grew in volume as Castle made his way closer and closer to Kate's apartment. The old wood door glowed an eerie red, visual proof that it had been impacted by the flames. The writer didn't hesitate as he threw himself against the door, twisting so that his left shoulder took the brunt of the impact.

"Kate!" he yelled as he made contact with the door a second time. "Kate, are you in there?"

He called out for her again as his third attempt finally loosened the wood from its hinges. Instead of swinging open the structure toppled over, slamming against the floor. Momentum caused Castle to slide along the door as it fell.

"Ouch," he gasped as his shoulder connected with a small flame. "Ah," he grunted as he slid his arm out of the sleeve of his jacket and wacked it against the floor. Thankfully it took only a moment for the flame to dissipate, leaving only a dark stain of soot behind.

With one sweeping glance Castle took in dull yellow sheetrock that hung from beams that slumped in the middle without any weight to support them and flames that leapt at least two feet high, eagerly consuming whatever got in their path.

"Kate?"

His eyes desperately searched for her slender frame but there was no sign that anyone remained within the raging inferno. Maybe he was wrong and she was far away from the devastation but there was no way he was giving up the search until he had checked every square inch.

He called for her again as he made his way through what used to be her living room. It was when he was almost to the charred remains of her kitchen that he heard it, a faint sound of coughing coming from the direction of what used to be her bathroom. Another cough reached his ears, louder than the first.

"Kate?" His tone was hopeful as he bent slightly, wondering where she could possibly be. A slender hand reaching for the edge of the white old fashioned tub gave him his answer. Relief hit him hard and fast as her head, with her dark hair thrown up in a messy bun, came into view.

"Kate!" He hurried towards her, shoving a falling beam, surprisingly not on fire, out of his way without really registering what he was doing. "Kate, you're alive!" He pushed away what he assumed must have been part of the bathroom door and then he was finally, _finally_ close enough to reach her. "Oh, and you're naked," he added when his gaze took in her bare back.

"Castle, turn around!" Kate ordered just before another bout of coughing hit.

Castle didn't hesitate. As much as he had fantasized about seeing her in such a state, he knew now was not the time.

Although-

"You know, your apartment is on fire," he pointed out. "Now might not be the best time for modesty."

"Castle, hand me a towel," was all Kate said in response.

Eager to get her covered and get her out of there, Castle's gaze swung towards her stack of towels only to see a ball of fire dancing above the terry cloth pile. "The towels are on fire."

"Well, what about the bathrobe?"

"The-" Castle really wished he didn't have to say it, but the shooting flames made it necessary, "Do you have anything that's not flammable?"

"Castle!" Kate gasped when he turned his head towards her.

"Sorry," Castle's voice was raspy as he realized how close he had come to seeing everything. He hadn't seen any more than he had before and it was more difficult than it should have been, given the situation, for him to turn his head away.

"Give me your jacket," Kate ordered, her Detective Beckett tone firmly in place now that the danger of Castle seeing more than she wanted him to had passed.

Castle shrugged out of the brown coat, holding it out while pointedly keeping his head angled in such a way that she would have no doubt that he was preserving her modesty.

"Don't look."

"I'm not," he insisted.

And yet she said it again.

"I'm not-I'm not looking," he said, frustrated and a little hurt that she didn't seem to entirely believe him.

But the second assurance seemed to work as he felt her hands take hold of his coat.

"All right?" he asked after a few moments.

"Yeah," she said and gave a soft sigh of relief.

"Okay," he said. He knew that just swinging her up into his arms wouldn't be appreciated by the overly independent detective so he merely held out his hands for her to use as leverage.

"I dove into the tub just as it blew," she told him as she got a firm grip on his arms to use for balance.

"Can you walk?" he asked as she gingerly swung one foot and the other over the edge of the tub.

"Yeah," she said as her unsteady feet slowly touched the floor, "just a little banged up."

His hands cupped her elbows as she limped away from the tub.

"You in any pain?" he inquired as they slowly made their way towards her front door.

"Well, not nearly as much as you." There was obvious amusement in her voice that puzzled him. "It's just killing you, isn't it?

"What?"

"Having to wait this long to tell me how you banged down the door?"

Ah, humor. Their regular banter. She was going to be just fine.

More than willing to distract her from her predicament, even if only for a minute, he launched into the story. "You want me to start from the beginning….?"


	5. Chapter 5

**I wasn't even going to originally write this part but whenever I tried to figure out what Kate was thinking and feeling in that last Caskett scene in 'Always' I kept having to go back to the rooftop scene. Because that was where it went from being all about her mother's case to being about just wanting Castle. I really wrestled with this one, trying to keep in mind the tips I've been given. But it got to the point where I was so concerned with implementing those things that it got in the way of writing the scene at all. This is the only scene where I've had that issue. So I decided to just write it and see what you guys think. Maybe I ended up implementing the suggestions, anyway...**

**Disclaimer: Oh, if only...**

* * *

"Help!"

The cry was little more than a reflex. Not for one second had Kate believed that Maddox would help her and she had cried out then, too. Now there was no one. Esposito was lying unconscious several stories below. Ryan was back at the station, covering for them. Gates didn't even know where she was. And Castle-

Was done.

Done being her partner.

Done following her into reckless situations in a blind attempt to find justice for her mother who wasn't alive to care.

Done with her.

Kate turned her head and looked down at the street far below her. "Oh god," she groaned, realizing there was no possible way for her to survive such a fall.

"No…" The word was filled with despair. But then her natural instinct to fight kicked back in. "Not like this!" She had survived so many near death experiences and she would survive this one. She would find a way.

Kate attempted to pull herself up, but with her fingers being the only part of her that remained on the ledge she couldn't get a grip. Frantically she tried to get a foothold but accomplished nothing more than lightly scrapping her shoes along the side of the building.

She let out a frustrated groan, wracking her brain for something, anything, to get herself out of this.

She had nothing.

Nothing except the realization that fourteen years of hunting for the ones behind her mother's murder had culminated in this: alone, dangling from a ten story building, minutes if not seconds away from falling to her death.

It wasn't worth it.

Why hadn't she figured that out before it was too late? She had been just as close to death when she got shot. Death had seemed more certain then than it did now.

So why?

What had made the difference?

"Castle," she whispered as realization hit.

Every other time she'd looked down the jaws of death-locked in a freezer, standing in front of a bomb, trapped in a car submerged in the Hudson River, being shot by a sniper's bullet-Castle had been there.

With Castle by her side, she could deal with anything life threw at her.

Without him…

Oh god, without him…

Suddenly the fingers of her right hand slipped.

"No!"

She wasn't ready for this. She would never be ready for this.

She grunted as the fingers of her other hand slightly trembled.

Death was closing in and there was nothing she could do about it.

In that moment, there was only one thing Kate wanted.

Castle.

The depth of her blindness staggered her. Solving her mother's case wasn't the most important thing in her life.

He was.

And she would never get the chance to tell him.

The agony sliced through her, piercing her heart in a way the sniper's bullet never had. Longing for Castle swept through her, flowing through her veins, becoming the force that kept her heart beating in the midst of unbearable loss.

"Beckett!"

Her head shot up. That was Castle's voice!

"Castle!"

"Beckett!"

It _was_ him!

"Castle, I'm here!"

_For four years I've been right here, waiting for you to open your eyes and see that I'm right here!_

Castle's words from what had seemed like a lifetime ago raced through her mind.

Her eyes were certainly open now.

Then her fingers slowly started to drag towards the edge. "No…." she moaned. But her fingers continued to slide. "Castle!"

"Beckett, hang on!"

He was so close and her fingers were almost to the edge. She pressed them down as hard as she could.

It wasn't enough.

"No," she whispered as her fingers finally slipped. "CASTLE!" she screamed.

She had just barely felt the air rush over her as she started to fall.

"Beckett!"

For some reason it was Ryan's voice she heard this time. And it was Ryan's hand that grabbed her wrist and halted her descent. Then his other hand wrapped around her wrist and she was held in an iron grip and pulled back up.

Kate looked into the concerned eyes of Kevin Ryan, relief flooding her, more thankful than she could ever express. Still all she could get out was a whispered, "Castle."

She had been wrong. Castle wasn't there.

But Captain Gates was.

This wasn't going to be good.

And she didn't care.

* * *

The ride back to the precinct was made in absolute silence. Kate had been tempted to ignore her captain and head immediately over to Castle. Only fourteen years of putting the job ahead of everything else kept her from doing just that. Well and remembering that Castle would be at Alexis's graduation.

"….What you did dishonors this city and dishonors the badge," Gates thundered, close to shaking in her fury. "Not only are you both off this investigation, I'm putting you both on administrative leave, effective immediately."

"Sir-" Kate started.

"Don't you 'Sir' me," Gates snapped. "Now hand over your badges and guns."

Kate could understand her captain's anger. But she was going too far. All of the things her supervising officer mentioned were things _Kate_ had done; Esposito had merely backed her up. He shouldn't be punished for her mistakes.

She had already decided to let go of her mom's case, so being forced off the case didn't much matter. Except for this being the worst professional trouble she'd ever been in, which wounded her pride.

But Gates had made a tactical error. Suspending Kate from the job just made it easier to stick by the decision she had made as soon as her feet had touched solid ground: to leave the force and never look back.

At the captain's prompting Kate tossed her gun and holster on the desk. She slowly removed her badge and simply looked at it for one last time. The peace she felt at finally letting go told her she was doing the right thing.

"Keep it," she said. "I resign."

_Putting the job ahead of your heart is a mistake._

Kate had read those words from her training officer for the first time over a year ago but it wasn't until now that she knew what he meant. Kate had put her job ahead of her feelings for Castle so many times she had lost count.

Never again.

It took her less than a minute to pack up her things. Looking over at Castle's chair was the only thing that caused her to falter. Quitting meant that they would never again solve murders together, never have the thrill of being in sync while they built theory. Her decision didn't just affect her; it affected him, too.

But she couldn't stay. Too much of her job was wrapped up in finding her mother's killer. Risking her heart was something she could do.

Risking her relationship with Castle wasn't.

* * *

The rain had been falling steadily for almost a half hour by the time Kate reached the swings. Her hair hung in clumped strands plastered to her head and her clothes were completely soaked through.

_The wall is gone,_ she thought as she sat in the same swing from almost a year ago. She turned her gaze to the empty swing where Castle had sat. He had understood the subtext of what she said. And he had waited. Waited, waited and waited some more.

The time for waiting was finally over.

For both of them.


End file.
